Let them be young...


My quote for today "let them be young".

I'm not sure why I picked this. I think it's got something to do with Albert starting nursery or / and his current habit of saying "mine. mine. mine." and "no". And my want to shout "SHUT UP!!!!".

Maybe it's because I've now passed that pivotal 6 months age with Arthur, where I should consider helping him fall into better sleep habits. But I can't be bothered. I'm far too tired from 2.5 years of rubbish sleep.

Or maybe because Albert has only just started speaking. He is three in June. I have had so many people hint or directly say "are you not worried" and I'm not (although I do wobble when they say that). But I'm not. He will get there. In his time. He will excel at something else. In his own time. And maybe he won't. And that's fine too.

Whatever. The quote remains... "let them be young",

I read a book, when Albert entered his terrible twos, called 'No Drama Discipline' by Daniel Siegel. I'm not sure where I heard about it but I loved the sound of it. 

The book talks about something which has stuck. The brain and it's development.

He gets you to imagine your Childs brain as a "house under construction", with an upstairs and a downstairs. 

The downstairs: basic primative functions like breathing, regulating sleep, digestion. This level is responsible for toddler tantrums. Their reactions. We are all born with this.

The upstairs: More sophisticated. Responsible for "thinking, emotional, relational skills... decision making, regulation of emotions, personal insight, adaptability, empathy, morality". Now, the top floor isn't developed when we enter this world. And... wait for it... it apparently isn't until our mid twenties. Gulp.

Obviously this doesn't mean no disciple. Or no teaching. Or sitting back with 'Paw Patrol' on repeat (beyond the massive amount of hours I already do - Chase is on the case).

The upstairs is in development. Which we are responsible for - teaching boundaries, life stuff, manners. But it's in development. They don't get it. They don't understand the complex emotional stuff. 

I know this isn't new information. It's basic parenting info right?! But it helps me to remember this when I'm about to loose my marbles. 

They are learning, excited, love monsters, security seeking, basic creatures. They are highly complex in a simple way. 

My quote is up to remind me to help teach and guide them, have empathy, and make sure they feel loved for whatever they are and whatever they choose to be.  Let them have fun. Make mess. Dance like nobodies watching. There is no pressure to grow up quickly. Speak quickly.  There is plenty of time for that. 

Now I better get back to watching "I love trains" with my crazy-obsessed toddler and embrace the fact he may well be a train driver when he's full grown.